I knew academically-speaking what I should be doing – starting the day by meditating to keep my stress levels in check, writing in my Dailygreatness journal to stay centered, using my pomodoros to pace myself, taking relaxation breaks to re-prioritise and be as efficient as possible with my set energy, doing some form of exercise to get rid of any excess adrenaline that I inevitably run up over the hours, and basically ‘letting go’ of the anxiety of what might happen. These feelings make it incredibly hard to make a logical call on the state of things, so it became an endless cycle of waking up, panicking to get to the computer in the study ASAP so I could get some work done before the inevitable fatigue and aching kicked in, mind racing and not concentrating properly, trying to take ‘breaks’ but never relaxing due to the cloud of further commitments over my head that I needed to achieve before the end of the day, napping for 2 hours but waking up feeling sleepy and awful until that feeling would wear off around 7pm when I’d be back on the computer trying to make my hours up. In the worst throes, it caused me terrible anxiety and stress the minute I came-to in the morning, tell-tale tight chest wishing me ‘good morning!’ to another day of uncertainty, responsibilities and uncomfortable feelings of tiredness, aching, and inability to concentrate. It’s a decision I still drive myself potty trying to make. The cold symptoms had ended, she ‘just’ had tiredness and lethargy. I’ve just had a chat with a lovely lady who is relatively new to her multiple sclerosis and was grappling with whether to call it quits and go home from work, or stick it out and ‘man-up’ to the tiredness she’s feeling at the tail-end of a cold.
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